Still Living Happy And Guilt Free

As promised, some more tips ...

• Be present in the moment. The past is to learn from, the future is to keep you inspired but its what you’re doing right now that counts.
• Have some direction – set yourself realistic and timely goals for your big ambitions and then break them down into smaller goals and actions
• Don’t just move straight on to the next thing - celebrate your achievements, even if it is with something small – a coffee, a massage, a new bag or pair of shoes
• Manage your time effectively and efficiently – eg. embrace a brunch or afternoon coffee to catch up with friends rather than dinner and drinks
• Make an appointment in your diary to see or speak to your mum at least once a week – and stick to it!
• Get smart with your time and combine different needs (do something fun that you’ve never done before that you’ve always wanted to do … and then ask a friend to come along – a community college course, cooking class, sporting team?)
• After a break up, treat yourself to something you didn’t do, but wanted to, when you were in the relationship
• Grab a buddy and commit to sending each other one text/email each day, starting with “today I am grateful for … – think of it as a “warm and fuzzy” for yourself!?!

Living Happy and Guilt Free

It isn’t enough that society places so much pressure on us to excel in every area our lives, but when we add our own expectations to the mix, we can really be setting ourselves up for disappointment. There are so many pressures on young people that the reality is we can become so overwhelmed that despite our achievements we are never happy with our results.

So what does it mean to be “happy” and “guilt free”? Happiness is often mistaken as being successful which can be superficially measured by how many friends we have on Facebook, how exciting we are as lovers, whether or not we’re wearing next season’s fashions now and the amount of money we hint at but never admit to having.

But this isn’t happiness – happiness is the result of getting our natural human needs in just the right balance. So what are those needs? – simply put we need to give and receive love, contribute to others’ lives and to society, have variety in our own lives, feel that we’re important, experience growth and have our own freedom.

No small feat really to balance all of this, but recognising whether you are fulfilled in each of these areas will help identify the cause behind that guilty feeling. Start with a 1-5 scale for each, 1 being very unfulfilled and 5 being very fulfilled. Now identify those areas that you feel could do with improving and start taking action (even if it is just something small like taking out your neighbour’s garbage when they’re away).

Guilt is just an emotion that we allow to influence our decisions. It is our choice whether we want it to dictate our lives. If you don’t want the guilt of not achieving to take control then make the decision now to be happy and content with who you are. Concentrate on what you need to do for yourself on an internal level and you’ll be amazed at not only how much you achieve, but also how much you appreciate what you achieve.

Stay tuned for more tips on living happy and guilt free ...

People Can Only See What We Want Them To See

I was uploading my digital photos the other day from the past couple of months. It was no small feat I must say. I think I had about 250 to sort through and cull down to a nice 85 that would be suitable to print at a later date. Of these 85, I've now downgraded to my best 25 and put them on Facebook (yes, I'm getting into it now!)

I have received numerous comments already about how great they are and how well I "look" like I'm going over here in the UK. Well of course they'd say that! I've carefully and painfully selected only the best and most diverse range of photos to show. Ones that show me in different places, with different people, doing different things.

Not that I’m not doing all of these things, but I guess like the figures suggest, you’re only seeing 35% of me. You don’t see the times I get caught in the rain (because yes, its summer and still the weather’s miserable here in England!), or squashed in the bus with every other person trying to get home, or carrying too much shopping in bags that may break at any second…

And yet its who I am in these moments that are the real reflection of me.

So what are you like in that 65% of your life? Are you selfless and give up your seat for others (see my previous post below)? Do you embrace the rain and take pleasure in nature’s cool presence or does it just make you angry? Do you still know how to laugh at yourself even when you know something’s not going to go as planned?

We all have a public image, one that we want others to look at and to believe in. But this isn’t what’s important, its who you are in those discarded photos that show the real you. And although you may not print them, make sure you look at them every now and then and remember to enjoy those candid moments of you.