Unfortunately, yesterday I was confronted with a situation which was completely unexpected - a disagreement with an acquaintance. Our conversation began civilly but when I questioned something she had claimed I'd said earlier (her claim was inaccurate) it quickly slid downhill, and fast!
Despite having to listen to a barrage of abuse and then getting hung up on (!) I remained as calm as possible throughout - not an easy task when someone is attacking your integrity.
But although I would have loved to sling a few choice words back at her I am now pleased that I maintained my dignity. Sometimes saying nothing and letting someone finish their rant (because they're never going to listen to what you have to say anyway) is better than antagonising them.
Shocked by what I had just gone through I felt the need to share my story with anyone that would listen. And to my surprise, no one else was surprised! Not because they knew the person but because they had all gone through a similar situation before (one person said he had up to four phone calls like that per day!)
It got me thinking - its not that I (or the other people I was speaking to) deserved it. Rather that some people feel that they can justifiably speak to others in such a manner and it be ok. What it really amounts to is school yard bullying - and I'm amazed at how many people are using this tactic to get their way.
So what do you do if you're faced with a situation like this? Remain calm and not take it personally. Know your legal rights and stand your ground. For some of us (me included), it doesn't hurt to be reminded that you cannot satisfy everyone. Concentrate your efforts on those you can...
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Be Spontaneous
With so much of our lives governed by rules and routines, its easy to get caught up in living a monotonous existence. Plodding along, doing what is expected... doing what you've always done.
But how boring is that! Sure its great when you do the same thing over and over (because chances are you become really good at it - what a great boost to your self-confidence!), but is it really fulfilling?
I was at the movies last night and saw the trailer for a new Jim Carrey film - Yes Man. The movie itself looks pretty lame, but the overriding message has some merit. Instead of just doing what you've always done (and that may be saying no to anything out of your comfort zone), why not say 'yes'!
Why not join that scone baking group, go to an Antiguan restaurant, learn how to play bocce...
Why not make the decision to do something new/different once a week and have a little fun. Who knows where it may take you :)
But how boring is that! Sure its great when you do the same thing over and over (because chances are you become really good at it - what a great boost to your self-confidence!), but is it really fulfilling?
I was at the movies last night and saw the trailer for a new Jim Carrey film - Yes Man. The movie itself looks pretty lame, but the overriding message has some merit. Instead of just doing what you've always done (and that may be saying no to anything out of your comfort zone), why not say 'yes'!
Why not join that scone baking group, go to an Antiguan restaurant, learn how to play bocce...
Why not make the decision to do something new/different once a week and have a little fun. Who knows where it may take you :)
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Double Bookings - How To Please Everyone
Well unfortunately you can't! And the sooner you come to realise that, the easier it is to make a decision.
You know what I'm talking about - when you've accidentally organised to do something and you've forgotten you'd already promised to do something else. So how do you get around it?
First up, you can compromise. Could either event be rescheduled to another day or time? If so, great, problem solved. If it can't be then that's where you need to make the tough decision.
Either way you go you're inevitably going to offend someone. You could take the path of least resistance and pike on the option with the least fallout. But what if you can't even do that because both events are equally important?
Well there's really only one solution - honour your first commitment and apologise to the second. People will have more respect for you if you're honest and upfront about (stupidly) double-booking then they will if they think you've just picked your favourite option. If your first op is your favourite one, well that's just a bonus...
And in future - use a diary ... !
You know what I'm talking about - when you've accidentally organised to do something and you've forgotten you'd already promised to do something else. So how do you get around it?
First up, you can compromise. Could either event be rescheduled to another day or time? If so, great, problem solved. If it can't be then that's where you need to make the tough decision.
Either way you go you're inevitably going to offend someone. You could take the path of least resistance and pike on the option with the least fallout. But what if you can't even do that because both events are equally important?
Well there's really only one solution - honour your first commitment and apologise to the second. People will have more respect for you if you're honest and upfront about (stupidly) double-booking then they will if they think you've just picked your favourite option. If your first op is your favourite one, well that's just a bonus...
And in future - use a diary ... !
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Take Your Own Advice
There are going to be times in your life when you have to make some big decisions (like which uni course to choose, which career to follow, where to go for holidays...) and it always helps when you have your family and/or friends around you as a sounding board.
Whilst its great to have the support and guidance of those close to you, be careful that you don't fall into the trap of actually doing what they want you to do.
Take for example, my husband and I buying a house. We've been looking for a year now, just waiting to find that perfect place. We've spent many hours agonising over the pros and cons of all options, when to put offers in and when not to. We've even dragged our families around to open house inspections - our record was 4 houses in 40mins!
And now with all of the uncertainty with the current economic instability, nearly everyone has told us to hold off and sit tight. And that's when it happened - we found it. And they still told us to hold off. But contrary to the well meaning advice we were getting we went with our gut and snagged (what we believe to be) a bargain.
They're now so excited for us, and constantly telling us how well we've done!
If you know that what you're doing is the right thing for you, then go for it. Listen to those close to you and take on board their opinions and advice but at the end of the day you have to happy with your decision. Besides, nothing beats the satisfaction of giving a wry smile when they pat you on the back for a job well done...
Whilst its great to have the support and guidance of those close to you, be careful that you don't fall into the trap of actually doing what they want you to do.
Take for example, my husband and I buying a house. We've been looking for a year now, just waiting to find that perfect place. We've spent many hours agonising over the pros and cons of all options, when to put offers in and when not to. We've even dragged our families around to open house inspections - our record was 4 houses in 40mins!
And now with all of the uncertainty with the current economic instability, nearly everyone has told us to hold off and sit tight. And that's when it happened - we found it. And they still told us to hold off. But contrary to the well meaning advice we were getting we went with our gut and snagged (what we believe to be) a bargain.
They're now so excited for us, and constantly telling us how well we've done!
If you know that what you're doing is the right thing for you, then go for it. Listen to those close to you and take on board their opinions and advice but at the end of the day you have to happy with your decision. Besides, nothing beats the satisfaction of giving a wry smile when they pat you on the back for a job well done...
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